To God alone be the Glory!

Jason was so moved that by all the events of this Christmas that he felt (and i do mean physically) burdened to write a thank you to everyone giving the Glory to the Lord! So he, as difficult as it was for him, got on his knees and he prayed! Then wrote what was on his heart. He read it to our life groups class....And saw how so many were moved that he was asked to read it before the church. i know how he is physically and mentally this is purely Spirit inspired, this just could not be in his power any other way!

http://www.ebethesda.org/dlgMediaPlayer.aspx?id=154

Here is the link the service he read it in! It was the January 2nd, 9am service. He read it towards the end, but here is a copy of the note....i hope your heart is blessed.


To my Bethesda family,
At Thanksgiving a friend of mine called to see how I was doing. Through out the course of the conversation he revealed to me that he had been angry at God because I had Parkinson‘s disease. He said he had screamed out at God in anger asking why it had to be this way. I quickly stopped him and told him that attitude was not acceptable. I informed my dear friend that God had blessed me with this illness and that I was anxious to see how He would be glorified through its progression. He was shocked to find out that I considered this such a blessing. What he did not understand is that God is glorified in weakness. If He works through the earthly strong then the world cannot understand the magnitude of His power. When things look impossible and situations seem unavoidable, undesirable, and unbearable the glory and might of our dear Lord is shown. In our weakness His strength is proven. It is not that God does not care when we are allowed to become ill. God has ultimately healed all disease, disorder, and death with a perfectly delivered blow through Jesus. From eternity past, to a lowly manger. From an old rugged cross to a cold, sealed tomb. Resurrected and casting the stone away He ascended into glory as our Priest, Savior, and King conquering for ever the true and only opposition to God which is Sin. The effects of sin are categorized three ways… Disease, Disorder, and Death. If we know Christ, His victory is ours and the eternal life we have is not bound in these sandy corpses. What ever trial, tribulation or ailment inflicted upon this earthly shroud should only be used for one purpose…. God’s glory. Anything that brings Christians closer to death brings them that much closer to eternal service to our Savior and King. God could bring us home at any moment if He willed it so. His glory is what is at stake and if He chooses to leave us here to suffer for His honor than let it be. Victory over my disease is won in Christ. No need to ask for healing for it ran down Calvary’s cross. No need to ask for life for it burst out of Christ’s tomb. No need to ask for contentment for it descended at Pentecost. No need to ask for security for my shepherd owns the hillsides, mountain tops, rivers, creeks, valleys, plains and oceans. No need to ask for purpose because my God saw fit to crucify His son for my redemption and my life need be centered in His loving sacrifice. No need to ask for companionship for He is always there in Spirit and in Truth weaving a masterpiece of His love through my life. My friend saw me as a mortal man being punished and ignored by an eternal distant God. I know that I am an eternal being, guided and being used to glorify my loving eternal Savior and King. The idea I want to express is that I am already healed my body just hasn’t caught up to my soul. I am so thankful that God has seen fit to use my situation…. Not matter what it may be to bless hearts and lives for His glory. Thank everyone of you in this room for allowing my family to have the distinct honor of Christ shining through us and touching your hearts. I would like each one of you to know that you all have allowed Christ to work through you and bless my family as well. Thank you my dear sweet family. May we all stand in awe this Christmas season that the same hands that formed creation, and the same hands that bore the nails and the same hands that removed death’s stone from the tomb, and the same hands that delivered His own precious atoning blood to His Father, and the same hands that will judge as King and one blessed day, lovingly receive His undeserving bride….. Those same precious hands guided your hearts to help and love my family. May the Lord bless you all for being receptive to His Spirit’s tender touch. I understand why you love my wife and kids, they are all adorable and deserving. But to love me like you have that is a miracle of biblical proportions. Thank you for everything. May we all grow and glorify our Savior in the year to come.

Jason D. Miller
Christmas 2010

Christmas....He gave the greatest gift....Himself!

i have always spent Christmas just trying to capture the romance of the season, the smells, the sights, the sounds. i guess i have a theatrical, or cinematic enjoyment of the effects of Christmas. This year....i did not really get the opportunity to do that. Surprisingly it was one of the most blessed Christmases i have ever spent.

This year, Jason was home. In years past gas needs to be delivered during this busy travel season. No worries about how to get our celebrations squeezed in between 2 12hour shifts.

We were just able to be together. I did not realize how much that would change the season for us. In years past the kids had list, things things they wanted. This year not one child aside from the 2 year old, could think of anything they wanted! I wondered why this might be, but the realization came over me. They have us home caring for them they are content! Nothing of material could give them anything other than a fleeting pleasure, and they some how felt that. Amazing.

We never intend to have a very extravagant Christmas, not to many presents. We had our church bring a large box of groceries and gifts. They pulled in and dropped off this lovely gift, but before they even got back in there car to back out of the driveway another car from a separate anonymous group dropped off yet another similar load of gifts and food!! Jason and I just stood in the laundry room tearful and stared at each other speechless! One day after that our life group leader, good friend Jarod showed up with a gift from our Life group class. An Electric Medical lifting recliner for Jason!!!!!!!!!!

Unreal. What a praise worthy God that put in hearts to give us such extravagant gifts! The praise is His, and His alone. Our mail lady also came by Christmas Eve to bring yet more gifts and groceries from our community!!

When times are high like this is so easy to feel jubilant and Praise the Lord. But it also made me realize that, i have to remember to have the same heart of amazement, gratefulness, tearful, speechlessness when the blessings are not quite so sweet, or easy to bear! The Lord has started a work in us and it will not soon be finished but it continues to move and grow!



This New Year, we have been moved greatly by the Spirit. Jason and I have been reading out loud this book called "Radical"! It is making our hearts stronger in our convictions about a great many things. Realizing we had allowed ourselves to become comfortable with things we should not have. The Spirit is being poured out and our prayer are becoming more desperate for Him! That i must say( not to minimize the amazing things that have been done for us this season...some of which are not even mentioned here) was the best gift of the year.

The most important thing in life!

Often when you are going through something very difficult it is an opportunity for others around you to put themselves in your shoes and think "If this happened to me what would I do? How would I handle this? What are the most important things in life, and are my priorities straight? It gives us an opportunity to get back to the things in life that really mean something, like our families, or making a difference to those around us.

We are faced with questions that are deeper as well. Questions of a spiritual nature. Why do bad things happen? Questions about life and death. If I were to die today...what would happen to my soul? God created us to be spiritual beings that were in an intimate relationship with Him. Once sin, and sickness and evil came into the world we could no longer be close to God. He desired to have us near Him. So he made a plan. You see He is a Holy God. He can not love anything that is evil or that does wrong. He knew mankind could not stop himself from doing or thinking evil. So He made a plan to win us back to Him. In the fullness of time he sent His Son to live the life of a man. To be with out sin or evil thought. Then when the time was right to sacrifice Him. Place on Him the judgment that mankind deserved. This Son did come! His name was Jesus and He did die! He was crucified. Once He was dead being sinless he was able to make a way for men to have that union with God once again.

This ment that man kind was with out hope before, but now he could again have an intimate relationship with God. Knowing the above facts are only one part of this amazing gift. We must also believe, and confess this truth.


Heavenly Father:
I come to you in prayer asking for the forgiveness of
my Sins. I confess with my mouth and believe with my
heart that Jesus is your Son, And that he died on the
Cross at Calvary that I might be forgiven and have
Eternal Life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Father, I believe
that Jesus rose from the dead and I ask you right now
to come in to my life and be my personal Lord and
Savior. I repent of my Sins and will Worship you all the
day's of my Life!. Because your word is truth, I confess
with my mouth that I am Born Again and Cleansed
by the Blood of Jesus! In Jesus Name, Amen.

Garfield's Dream come true!!!

More Mega cooking today. It will be Garfield's favorite breakfast.....Breakfast Lasagna!



I really like this breakfast and it freezes like a dream. It is layered with French Toast instead of Pasta. The bottom layer is salty, and the top is sweet!

• Breakfast Lasagna

12 slices of french toast

2c. grated cheddar cheese

1/2 lb. sliced or cubed ham, or pepperoni slices(we use the peperoni)

2c. apple pie filling

1c. granola

Layer the toast then the meat of your choice and sprinkle with cheese. Then top with the next layer of french toast. Top that with a can of apple pie filling and sprinkle with granola. Bake in a pre-heated 350 oven for 25 min. You man put foil on the container to keep the granola from burning.

This is one that a questioned if it would be good, or if anyone would eat it. To our surprise the kids just love it. Give it a try you might be surprised!

Breakfast Mega Cooking!

Today i am doing some Mega Cooking. Making in bulk to have over the next few weeks. That will get us through to Thanksgiving. We have family coming and it is tough to make 3 meals a day when you are trying to visit. If it is all ready and just a thaw away then that leaves more time to visit and Thanksgiving prep will be much easier! i am making Breakfast to have in the freezer. Here is one of my "mega" favorites.

• Chocolate chip Bran Muffins

These are great for feeding a large family. Cereal is just such an overpriced breakfast for us. If the meal is frozen and ready to go its is much more cost effective for us. The Bran muffin recipe is one passed to me by my grandmother. She used to make this mega batch of muffins for the soup kitchen she ran in her local church. i remember her dropping spoonfuls of batter into the muffin cups. She made them in a mini version to make them go farther as well. She used to add pineapple to hers. If you need to stretch your grocery budget make them grandmas way. At our home it had to be modified. Since Jason didn't care to much for the fruit. We put in chocolate chips we buy them in bulk so they are not so expensive. The cost of chocolate chips have gone sky high these days. Or perhaps you could just add raisin bran cereal rather than the pineapple, or chocolate. Nothing is set in stone just use what you have on hand.

Chocolate Chip Bran Muffins

• 5c. flour
• 3c. sugar
• 5t baking soda
• 2t. salt
• 1t. cinnamon
• 1/2t. all-spice
• 4eggs
• 4c. buttermilk
• 1c.oil
• 120z. Bran cereal(use raisin bran if you like)

Optional additions:1(16oz.) can of crushed pineapples, or 1c. Chocolate chips. Or any other dried fruit you may have on hand!

Mix together the flour, sugar, soda, salt, cinnamon, and all-spice. In a small bowl mix eggs, buttermilk, and oil together well. Pour the wet mixture on the dry and fold in. Add the Bran, and any of the optional additions. Line your muffin pan and fill the muffin cups. Bake 400 for 15-20 minutes. Makes several dozen. Batter will also keep up to 6 weeks in the fridge!

Yummy!

How does Parkinson's affect our lives?

i had an interesting discussion today with someone about Parkinson's and realize there are so many questions people have about this disease and how it affects our lives. Most people are familiar with the disease only through Michael J. Fox, a well known celebrity who was diagnosed. This type of exposure to the disease has a limited understanding of how the disease affects a person other than the physical nature of what they can see, which is such a small part of what is really going on. A lot of these questions have no simple answers. i know that i had no real understanding of the disease myself until it became part of our lives. i will try to address as many questions as i can think of, at least the ones that come up often.

1. What is (early onset)Parkinson's? This is a quick (layman) summary of Parkinson's. There is a place in the brain called the Substantia nigra. This is Latin for "Black substance". This is a structure in the middle of the brain that plays an important role in reward, addiction, and movement in the brain. This portion of the brain makes dopamine. dopamine is a neurotransmitter. It tells your body to control its heart rate, blood pressure, and all muscles. In Parkinson's this portion of the brain is not working correctly. These cells either die or become impaired. Why or how this happens is not known. The body does not have the dopamine it needs to preform muscle controlling and all functions effected by dopamine. Once this process is started it is progressive. Which means that once the process starts the cells will keep dying and it can not be stopped. You do not show symptoms of Parkinson's until 60-80% of the cells that produce dopamine are dead in your brain.
2. What causes (early onset) Parkinson's? The exact cause of Parkinson's is not know. Your genetic make up can play a role. Your environment and exposures to toxins also may play a role in development of the disease. Mostly we do not know.
3. What are the symptoms of (early onset) Parkinson's? The most visible symptom is a tremor (shaking hands or legs). Bradikineisa, which is slowness of movement. This symptom makes it difficult to initiate movements. Such as writing, walking, sitting up, to name a few. One of the biggest symptoms is muscle rigidity. This has been one of the most difficult ones for Jason. Tight stiff muscle cramps that are extremal painful! Like the worst Charley horse you have ever felt. He describes it as feeling as if you have just finished a MAJOR work out all the time! Another symptom is impaired balance and posture and loss of automatic movement. Some examples are Blinking, swinging your arms while you walk, smiling. These can be diminished or even in some cases lost. Problems with speech and voice. Trouble swallowing, speaking quietly or trembling voice. Finally Dementia, confusion, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping. (This all just scratches the surface but it gives you a good idea)
4. Will your children inherit Parkinson's? They are only and a slight increased risk to develop Parkinson's. Less 10% of cases are direct relatives of some one with Parkinson's. Most cases are people who have no family history. For us, ultimately, God is in control of that!
5. Does he move like Michael J. Fox? The movements you see Micheal J. Fox making are not a symptom of the disease, these are a side effect of the powerful medications that are used to treat Parkinson's. (primarily the medication Carbodopa/Levedopa) Jason does not move as noticeably as Michael...yet. However he will! And he does move that way sometimes.
6. Don't they have medications that can help him? Yes, there are treatments that do help with some of the symptoms. They however do have side effects, like the movements described above, and others. Another down side is these medications loose there effectiveness over time. Which means that the longer he has the disease the more medications he will have to take to get a shorter time of relief! And the more medications he takes the worse the side effects. It has been difficult for some to understand that he can't just, take and ibuprofen or go to the hospital and take powerful pain killers and feel better. Those treatments provide NO RELIEF! Living with this type of pain is a fact of life with this disease! There is no cure, it is all about symptom management.
7. Will he die from this disease? There is a saying with in the Parkinson's community...."You don't die of Parkinson's, you die with it" People with (early onset)Parkinson's on average do not die sooner that of someone with out it. However the disease is different for every person. It all depends on how soon you were diagnosed, your treatments, your health and life style. Most people die of Parkinson's related complications, like aspiration(from not being able to control throat muscles), phenomena, falls, accidents, and so on. The disease is considered to be a slowly progressing disease, however some people do progress more rapidly.

These are some of the questions that i hear a lot. If any of you can think of any others that you may have send a comment.

So, you think no one cares!

We were driving down the road on our way to write a check for our rent that we did not have the funds to cover. i kept hearing a verse from the popular 120th Psalm, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." We often forget that part of the Psalm. i guess i had to remind myself to believe it! Sadly i had been saying in my head all day..."No one really cares what happens to us." That is what it feels like at times, when we struggle and no one knows. i am a very inward directed person, and often when i struggle i usually tell no one, not even my husband.( but most of the time he knows me well enough to figure it out)

As we were driving the phone rings and someone from the Church is calling to tell us someone had donated $200 for us! The exact amount we were short! What a blessing, that given my attitude i did not deserve. God knows. He cares. Yet i forget from one miracle to the next! When Jason became sick our living situation was placed in state of dependence on his grace. We had to let go and accept that! We have just enough to meet the bills, with the hope that the electric bill does not go too high, or the car does not break down. The Lord has come though every time we wonder what is going to happen. i felt so stupid about it afterwards. i fret at every critical point but i have seen the provision time and time again. Boy, i feel like an Israelite griping in the desert about Manna!
If it were not for Grace!!!!! i have been foolish,(forgive me) and will be again. Yet, He is still mindful of me! Oh, what a blessed soul i have even if i have nothing but those facts in my life!

Back to the Future!

Its been a real long time since I have been here! So I suppose I have a ton of updates.


i guess number one is another baby has been graced to us. So that makes 6 preordained lives entrusted into our care!(quiver is getting a little less roomy:)



In more ways than one, but especially on the career front, our paths for life the ones we thought were set in stone for us....have been chiseled away and something totally different has taken shape.


Its been a challenge. i thought we were being chiseled into a pillar. I guess due to just wanting a "normal" life of consistency....but not to be our path! i have found that at times i have wondered if we would survive the tapping away of unneeded rock. Sometimes saying "OH, Lord a little to much that time....Or that's a little close to the quick don't you think?" When it was done would we be more than a pebble? But through it i have come to understand that even a pebble can have a place of significance. A wall does not stand with cracks and only the smallest pieces can patch it. Yet they hold in some ways the most important role. They keep the structure standing!
(a little note after editing)
What's funny is after i wrote this saved it and came back i saw a neat little video of this same idea! i will post a link to it at the bottom


i am coming to embrace what i was made to be..... and my size and power does not matter as much as my purpose does. Being true to that makes the fall of the hammer easier.





First i would like to address why i have not been here in so long. i allowed people who felt they knew what the proper things to say were and what was acceptable before God, and man, push me away! Weakness....on my part. Such a desire to have no conflict that i gave in. But I have been hearing a snip it on Klove that talks about conflictlessness and sinlessness not being mutually exclusive! So true!





So when a friend of mine....a new one that has been brought into my life (another great update), made her blog private for similar reasons, i recalled how much i loved this place and dusted off the old blog. Reposted a few of the things i tore down. When i had taken things down i erased most of the posts....but a few that were close to my heart so i could not get rid of them. i just could never bring myself to delete the blog, even though i tried.





Well, the updates.....

I substitute my blog self expression for facebook! I became a facebook addict! (not really an addict hopefully)


Early On-set Parkinson's that was a big one! Why I decided to call this post back to the future! a double meaning with coming back to blogging moving towards the future and the whole Parkinson's thing!


Jason became very sick over these last few years and had to stop driving....which was his career, and discovered he had Parkinson's! What most people say is "like Michael J. Fox?" The answer is yes. But, surprisingly we are so grateful for the whole experience! What more to be said about that in the future?

Before that new baby came...Yes it was a Son, and his name is George. A year old now! We had a beautiful home birth this makes our fourth home birth! Still homeschooling, FINALLY found the church God wants us to be in( Praise for that).


We have grown, and strained, and endured........


After putting us through all that of course The Lord would move from tilling the ground making the rows to planting the seeds, and that is where we are. He is carefully choosing the seed and placing it in the worked soil he prepare. Now the most difficult part of the whole garden comes......maintaining favorable conditions for optimum growth....hoeing and weed pulling, watering, covering during frost and waiting!
So this blog is changing too, really just starting fresh. It will become a collaboration between Jason and I. A family blog! Nothing set in stone yet. Although stone can change too! :) We will wait and see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhfUzodLRvk&feature=share

When was the last time you stepped over a puddle?

It had been raining and it just kept coming this last week. I don't mind it though. Its just like life. You get into a pattern and then the rain comes and for some reason you are just waiting for it to pass. Well here the rain had come and was going to stay. Its good we need the rain. However their is a down side to that. Being cooped up in the house with 5 kids, no time to go out an play. Well, we had been in and were starting to get just a little tired of being creative with how to fill our time. So we went out to lunch with my friend Margo and her kids. We went in and ate. We were the only ones there because no one else wanted to brave the downpour, but we were desperate. And desperate times call for desperate measures. The kids were good just a little jumpy walking about around the table a little loud, but just because they were excited. The meal was over and we decided to go home. People were starting to come in and we felt the kids were getting to rowdy for the customers. The kids all file out. You see I have 5 she has 2. We have been told we are quite the spectacle everywhere we go. As we get to the cars there are 2 spaces between our vans. The rain had stopped. And for some reason their was a BIG puddle in between our 2 vans. So trying to get loaded into our cars we reach the puddles edge. Little Christian can't resist touching the water with the tip of his shoe. Suddenly from nowhere Margo jumps into the air and lands SMACK in the middle of the puddle. SPLASH! Everyone was hit by the water. All the kids just stood with a look of fear and confusion. Their little minds thinking "what just happened? Is this bad? And,I mutter "I'm I'm all wet." Then Margo let out a huge smile and laugh. We all looked at each other and the next thing you know Mommy's and kids alike are in the puddle. We are splashing each other laughing, jumping up and down. When is was all said and done we looked around at the people inside the restaurant just staring at us. I'm not sure what they thought about our behavior. But I will say this. Playing in a puddle is so much fun. Two year olds and adults alike. Why don't we do things like that more often? We may have been wet...but you could not buy a moment like that one with a million dollars! It was great. So the next time you are out with your kids on a rainy day... jump in a puddle together. You won't regret it.

What's your very best?

The Death Crawl - Facing The Giants

Shane Myspace Video


I love this video. I think it represents how the Lord is with us. He does not show us what is ahead because he doesn't want us to quit when we have more left. I think of all the things I have faced in my life and if I would have known what was ahead I would have given up. Watch it for sure and think of the struggle you are facing and give your very best.